10 000 Lovers

No, this is not an article about Wilt Chamberlain’s sexual conquests. Do you remember Wilt? He was the seven foot-plus basketball star who claimed to have placed not just ten, but 20,000 notches on his bedpost. What follows, however, has nothing to do with Wilt’s bed (which must be a heap of splinters?). Instead, it’s all about YOU…I’d like to present a theory about the possibility of true love, and that is:

There may be 10,000 people out there who could fall head over heels in love with you!

I met my future wife one day when she and her father popped by my parents’ place to borrow a ladder. What if I hadn’t been there on that fateful day?  Would I have spent the rest of my life a single man, or would I have met someone else? Most people like to think that there’s only one person in the world for them. It’s comforting to think that way, and, when you’re in love, it feels true. However, before you’re in love, (sorry to burst anyone’s bubble,) it’s categorically untrue. There may not be anyone else on earth exactly like the one you love, but know that there are countless variations, proximities, or near equals.

Could there really be ten thousand of these rivals? Where?

In reality, the number could be 1,000 or it could be 100,000. I confess that in fact I don’t know really know for certain, except that logically, it is virtually impossible for the number to be just one. Here’s how the mathematics of the theory work:

Imagine that you grow up in a town of 40,000 people and one day you fall in love  with someone from your town. Let’s assume you have no outside contact from other cities or countries; one could then suggest that in a group of 40,000 people, one person is a suitable partner for you. Right now you’re feeling exhausted by the thought of sifting through 40,000 people to find your mate. Instead, take heart and think about the fact that there are 30 million people in Canada , which means…

In Canada alone there could be 750 possible love interests out there! Which means there could be 7,500 in the United States ! It’s a veritable smorgasbord. You’re already planning your next trip to Europe . Or maybe you have your sights on China and India where population numbers boggle the mind! This is great news for single people. No need to feel alone; in fact, brush off your redeeming qualities — it’s time to go shopping, right?

But wait, it can’t possibly be this simple, you’re thinking. Yes and no. There is luck to be considered. The single girl or guy can’t control what we’ll call the “LG Factor” (lucky guy/lucky girl) which accounts for dumb luck. Aren’t all first meetings lucky by nature? Do you actually plan on meeting the person of your dreams while grocery shopping on Wednesday mornings? No, but it could happen. The love of my life needed to borrow a ladder, and I’m thankful for my dumb luck that she did.

You certainly can’t hurt your LG Factor by doing two things: firstly, exposure (and I’m not implying nudity). You need to get out there and greet your adoring public. Your 10,000 are out there and many of them are probably looking for you too. So get out of your house or apartment, join a club, go for a walk, hang out with friends in places you wouldn’t normally frequent (which may actually mean hanging out at your parents place — hey, look where it got me!). Go to an art gallery opening. Join a gym. Volunteer. Take a night course. Get out of your comfort zone particularly if the LG Factor isn’t working for you. Circulate.

Secondly, don’t underestimate your smile. It’s the greatest gift you can give in the early stages of any relationship. And you can soak up the smiles that you’ll receive in return. Don’t let yourself Wilt.